What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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