I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
this is an emotional support booty call
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
