You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
