did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
