First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
