Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
