HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
