Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
