Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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