Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
