I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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