You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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