Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
