woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Randomize
