white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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