If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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