North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
