Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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