i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
