Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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