watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
