dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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