To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize