i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
