this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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