We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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