Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
