he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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