I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
