Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
