It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
