Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
