They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
