I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
