Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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