I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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