i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
