you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
