I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Houston, we have a blender
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
