Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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