Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
