When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize