u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
