Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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