So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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