I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
