hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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