I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
