This girl is more easily done than said...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
