DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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