strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm too high and old for this...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
